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30 Days of gratitude- Day 16 by aussiegall.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Albert Schweitzer


Hello All & An Early Happy Weekend!  Between being sick with a sinus infection since this past weekend and back to the doctor for a second time this afternoon for a nebulizer treatment of albuterol due to serious bronchial issues from a secondary infection I have been a bit of a sick-ful mess this week.  I was, as well as the rest of the sick staff at my job, pretty much ordered to go home and get well which I hope to do!

I have been left with little time, energy, and unfevered brainspace with which to write this week and I missed it.  I really relish the reflective moments on this blog and love to share in the community of the blogosphere!  Next week promises to be HEALTHFUL and BLOGFUL if I can get myself back on track internally and externally to do so.

I had my clients in group today end the week with a statement of gratitude to begin their weekend and I would like to do the same and go back to my enjoyable past time of a Friday LIST! Yay!  Fevers make me a bit punchy and jubilant–when not coughy and curmudgenly (also aliteration inspired apparently).  And I think ESPECIALLY when we feel low and depleted it is important to reflect on the metaphorical food that feeds us.  The literal food that feeds me today is pizza and sinus medication.

10 THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT NOW ARE….

1. …A husband that will bring me soup on a tray and a seltzer in bed when I am hacking up my lungs.

2. …A wonderful holistic community in South Florida that continues to amaze me with the passionate professionals in mental health and beyond that are working to bring care to people : mind, body, and spirit.

3. …Sunshine.  I don’t think I even want to take for granted to wonders of sunshine and the plentiful sun of South Florida.  To be able to take a therapy group outside and by the beach is an amazing blessing.

4. …To be able to teach what I love to those who want to hear about it.  The other day I mentioned to a co-worker that when I was a child I wanted to be a teacher and a detective.  She replied, “So you sort of did that then didn’t you?”  I laughed and thought that is true–as therapist alone I am sort of an investigator of the psyche and teacher of coping skills.  It is even more rewarding that I get to be part of an academic sphere even beyond that–giving back what I learn as therapist-detective-teacher with my clients to other passionate professionals.

5. …Family.  I have an immediate and extended family and circle of friends that, especially hearing so much about the painful family histories of my clients, I know how lucky I am to have a system of support, caring, and mutual respect that many people struggle long and hard to find one tenth of the same.

6. …Yoga.  Especially lately with changing jobs and getting sick and having almost 3 WEEKS now yoga-less I am reminded again of how much yoga is at the core of my own grounding, self-care, and centering.  I gave a Self Care workshop last Friday (right before getting sick) in Delray Beach and I found myself leaving rejuvenated by the energy of the collective of women giving back a little peace to themselves–and found myself hungry for more moments of the same for myself.  I am so thankful for my yoga practice and cannot wait to stop hacking up my lungs and start down-dogging myself and my  limbs back to limber bliss.

7. …Virtual Communities & Live Communities.  There is so much power in the intimacy of a collective–whether in cyberspace or in physical presence–the healing power of communities and sharing constantly astounds me.  There is such a profoundness in group therapy–I love leading groups in collective healing and love any form of collective healing–community acupuncture, community EMDR (both which are done at my current job for patients), group equine facilitated psychotherapy programs, group creative arts workshops (like are being explored at the WISH STUDIO), and all avenues of sharing life experience and the journeys with others.

8. …The beautiful ANGEL SMILE FARMS in Loxahatchee where I cannot wait to begin presenting PRANA EQUUS workshops for self-care through yoga, creative arts, mindfulness, and equine relational activities!

9. …What I learn daily from others.  My clients are so profound–and often most profound when they don’t even intend it.  I love being able to take their journeys with them and in the process move forward on my own path with the richness of their experiences and their own revelations about life, self, and happiness.

10. Being asked to present at the 2010 National NARHA Conference in Denver!  I just found out today & I cannot wait.  Both because I always miss Colorado since I moved away in 2003 and because I cannot wait to talk with a national audience of equine mental health professionals about this integrative programming I am so passionate for–bringing yoga, horses, and mental health together in a creative package.  Check out this link for more information on the conference (I will also be speaking with Maurette Hanson at the Region 5 NARHA Conference in Alabama in August): http://www.narha.org/Conference/2010/Conference2010Home.asp

“The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change.”

Maya Angelou

This week has brought a plethora of wonderful blessings and magical gifts my way!  Let me list the three prominent highlights:

  1. New Partnership with Lisa Kelly & THE RED TENT : A Healing Arts Center for Women in Delray Beach, Florida.
  2. PASSED my Yoga Teacher Training Final Exam last night–85% thank you very much.  And I thought NYU Graduate School was hard.
  3. Article on “COMPLEMENTARY THERAPIES FOR TRAUMA” was posted at Michele’s HEAL MY PTSD “Professional Perspectives” section of her website today.

Every time I wonder how I am going to take the next step forward into the wild blue yonder of my life and then something beautiful and wonderful happens.  I would say, without hesitation, this was the case in meeting with Lisa Kelly, owner of The Red Tent, trained Doula, massage therapist, and passionate advocate of the ability to heal oneself by accessing the body to get to the emotional content inside.  In our discussion of our mutual passions for healing and wellness and vision for a community of holistic healthcare I realized I had stumbled upon–in one short email, a Facebook connection, and 48 hours–one of those kindred spirits that I thought were so rare.  What I have realized is that the more you shout into the abyss your passion, the more kindred souls you find echoing back.

I have begun the embryonic phases of a partnership with Lisa and her wonderful center THE RED TENT whose name is meant to symbolize (as the book by the same name does) a community of women joining together for healing.  I will begin practicing at her oasis of a location (complete with outdoor foot bath/ jacuzzi!) providing services such as: individual, couples & mother/baby therapy, individual, couples & group yoga for mental health/wellness, and a mosaic of creative workshops.  My practice in this soothing environment will be given the freedom to apply the tools I find so healing including: breathing exercises, guided visualization, yoga techniques, mind/body and somatic attunement, creative arts, and imagination.  I believe this new venture is going to be the beginning of a wonderful journey towards cultivating a healing community and bringing the intention of “embodying mental health” to life in full 3 dimensional form.

I titled this post “New Horizons: Watching Life Unfold From the Driver’s Seat” because that is how it feels as I begin this process of rebirth, as it were.  The horizon shifts and the sun peaks out from the landscape without any help from us, we only direct the path of where we drive, towards it, away from it, or meandering slowly in it’s direction.  There are times in my life were I definitely went in the opposite direction of light and other times where I took the winding hard way to get to the sun on the horizon.  But today, in this moment, in this breath, it feels like I am full of intention and on a steady path towards the sun rising ahead.

The sun rises and sets in our life and we either go with it or steer away–I am ready to gaze into the sun and drive right into the warmth and brightness of its glow.

One exhausting and wonderful adventure, yoga school, is coming to a close.  And so it seems an apt time for the newly donned subtitle of the “MY EMBODIMENT” blog: “…exploring mind, body, and spirit wellness.” That is where I think I am headed, on an exploration and continued journey into self, wellness, and continued healing paths of myself and others.  I am leaving yoga school having learned much and knowing that I have much to learn–the best educational experiences provide more questions than answers, more quests into the unknown and momentum forward.  I have stretched in every meaning of the word: mind, body, and spirit.  I have met wonderful people and found some kindred spirits along the way.  And I am grateful for every moment spent struggling towards balance and head stands along the way!  I am proud to say I can finally balance on my head, even if momentarily, and I think this progress is literal and metaphoric as my life propels forward into the upside downs and unknowns.

Whatever tomorrow brings I want to stare into the sun and drive straight towards the horizon of my life!  Sometimes life reminds you that you are on the right path.  I imagine a road sign on my metaphoric highway towards the sun with a sign reading “Next Destination Just Ahead: Beware of Speed Bumps”.  Reminding me that I have the potential to enact all the things I want to, I just need to make sure I keep myself in check in the process.  In yoga and in life, our human flaws and egos are the enemy of all good works.  I want to be on the side of Karmic Service & try to leave as much of my human flaws at the last rest stop before I reach my next destination.  I hope yoga gave me some of those tools.  I hope my passion for this work has given me the energy and stamina for the trek.  And I hope my car’s tires have warranties–because there are always bumps along the way.

**ALSO my “Yoga for Trauma Survivors” at Yoga & Inner Peace in Lake Worth, FL continues tomorrow 1:00-2:30pm: visit http://www.yogapeace.com for more information!**

CHECK OUT…

The Red Tent: A Healing Arts Center for Women at www.redtentwellness.com

Heal My PTSD: Conquer the Past. Create the Future at www.healmyptsd.com

 Old Sidesaddle from Early Montana days by Bitterroot on flickr

The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. 

Sharon Ralls Lemon

  

As a little girl I was in love with horses.  I was mesmerised by dark beautiful flanks and haunting equine eyes watching the films Black Beauty and National Velvet and ached for a horse of my own and wide open fields to ride her in.  I remember from as little as five going to the reservation near our house and running ahead of my parents on the trail so, away from their sight, I could mimick the sound of hooves on dirt, creating a  rhythmic beat of feet on paths and with my imagination, as I stared straight ahead, I could believe I was sitting atop a horse of my own, meandering down trails on a Saturday afternoon.  But I was a suburban girl from an area where reservations were as close to fields as I got and where riding was too expensive to really be possible. 

 

Right before entering middle school I saved up an entire year of allowances and odd jobs money for summer camp  riding school which my parents promised I could take if I could earn enough to pay for it.  I made just barely the allotment, maybe a little less (and my kindly parents pitched in the remainder) and I remember the heart pounding glee of walking into the barn on that first day of class–the smell of hay in the air and the sound of hooves on the dirt.  This was the closest I got to really being anything like the “country horse girl” of my dreams. 

 

Because, as a suburbanite raised person, I am not a country girl.  I may be one in spirit or musical orientation, but I have never been able to qualify myself as a bona-fide, born and bred, workin’ boot wearing country girl.  I aspired with great adulthood imaginations during my time living in Fort Collins, Colorado, surrounded by pickups, cowboys and horse ranches, but I was never able to bring it to fruition–I lacked any of the practical skills and I could never two-step.  The closest I got were a few wonderful rides on horseback through the mountains of Estes Park, care of the local tourist ranches. 

 

I have also, for quite some time, been a great proponent of animal-oriented psychotherapies.  I know from personal experience (much the way I do with my own practice of yoga) the healing benefits that can be derived from a relationship with an animal–their silent acceptance free of judgement, their love without conditions, and their quiet ability to intuit emotions and pain in another. 

 

It was my greatest hope to be able to combine my therapeutic practice with an animal oriented approach and even throw in body/mind elements to create innovative holistic practices.  The idea of truly being able to bring this to pass just seemed a bit too much to hope for.  Well with recent fortuitous events it seems that I may be able to find a way to enter into the amazingly inspiring world of Equine Facilitated Psychotherapy (EFP), which I spoke about briefly in my Friday list from last week. 

 

In this pursuit and active research into the is therapeutic area (I am perhaps a compulsive researcher) I have learned about and ran into some passionate and wonderful people involved in EFP.  One thing that I have found, overall, as I explore all of the holistic realms of the complementary therapies is how many amazing and vibrant people there are out there and I am only lucky to have fallen into their path.  I am forever grateful for where my passions have led me so far and where they continue to lead me.

 Angel Smile Farm Grazing

I happened upon, this past week, a wonderful little patch of heaven called “Angel Smile Farm” in a rural area of Southern Florida right on the periphery of the metropolitan cities of this Southern tip of the state.  This farm is something that replication images could barely do justice to and radiates the kind of beauty and calm that leaves one breathless–at least this “one”.  It smells like freshly cut grass and stallions and looks like something out of a glossy equine photo shoot.  The front corral is edged with crisp white fence posts that stretch out into the distance.  A long sandy path takes you down to an equally crisp white barn with bright mexican blankets and splashes of turquoise and leather that feel quintessentially country with a touch of softness and feminine decor. 

 

The owner is a woman, Maurette, with a friendly laugh, a bold personality, and a passionate heart.  She is one of many people I have discovered in a short period of time with a passion for working to heal through horses.  She, like myself, is full of hopes and plans and dreams for where this work can go and I only had to see her farm once to fall immediately in love with expanses of blue skies and green fields speckled with palms and rugged Floridian trees.  It takes little imagination, even for someone like me who teems with imaginative wells, to imagine such a place being  a site for emotional healing or for someone like Maurette to be a person to bring those hopes to fruition. 

 

I am enthused at the prospect of becoming intermingled into this equine world that seems inexhaustible in this area of the world.  I have found my home in Florida, in the work that I am doing, and the professional and personal adventures which are following with each step I take. 

 

My dream is to find a way to bring all of these worlds together into a cohesive whole.  My teeming imagination envisions a center built on an expanse of land much like the one I discovered and fell in love with this week.  A center under which someone could find all manner of holistic treatment–where psychotherapy, yoga therapy, equine facilitated therapy, creative arts therapy, and so many others can work hand-in-hand, collaborating and overlapping at points for the most complete therapeutic healing approach.  A place that could help those in emotional need of effecting changes in their whole selves–mind, body, heart, soul. 

 

The more I meet amazing people with passionate hearts full of the same yearning to make change and healing happen whatever it takes, the more confidence I have in a future that includes all of these things.  Having met people like Maurette of  Angel Smile Farm, Michele of Heal My PTSD, as well as Geri and Penni of Kula for Karma, I become more confident in the potential shifts for the better in the future of healing both locally and nationally. 

 

I wrote in my prior post titled Elephant Tears about elephants experiencing trauma and finding healing again.  This post I’ve explored how animals, particularly horses, can assist in human healing.  One thing I know, there is something magical in both large majestic creatures–horses and elephants. 

 

There is something intrinsically wild and free watching a herd move.  The earth rumbles and they beat out a rhythm only nature could write.  Their intrinsic freedom provokes the same in the humans they touch–evoking a strength and invoking a freedom in a person that is potent.  Both animals have done muchto help me understand healing in a multidimensional way.  Both make my heart race and my soul ache for a taste of what they have inside of them. 

 

 

Below are some Links to Lists of Therapeutic Riding Centers around the nation enacting this fantastic work of equine facilitated psychotherapy. 

*I have no formal knowledge of these centers, this is just meant as a general reference list for those that are interested. See the NARHA website for a comprehensive listing of accredited horse therapy centers.*

 

NARHA (General Website address: See “CENTERS” link for all variations of links to accredited centers):

http://www.narha.org/

EFMHA (Equine Facilitated Mental Health Association):

http://www.narha.org/SecEFMHA/WhatIsEFMHA.asp

Maryland Horse Country Comprehensive Listing of Psychotherapy and Physical Therapy Equine Programs:

http://www.mdhorsesource.com/therapy.htm

NARHA Premier Accredited Centers: (National and International)

http://www.narha.org/Centers/center_status_search.asp

NARHA “Horses for Heroes” Program (for Veterans) with links to nationwide facilities:

http://www.narha.org/Horses%20For%20Heroes/NARHAHorsesforHeroes.asp

 

Angel Smile Farm Barn  

Where in this wide world can man find nobility without pride,
Friendship without envy,
Or beauty without vanity?
Here, where grace is served with muscle
And strength by gentleness confined
He serves without servility; he has fought without enmity.
There is nothing so powerful, nothing less violent.
There is nothing so quick, nothing more patient.

 

Ronald Duncan, “The Horse,” 1954

 

I am sick, sick, sick.  Of course, of course, of course.  But there is no real time to dwell in feverish grossness or to get frustrated over missing one of my last days of work due to delirium.  I have, on the plus side, finally fully set up my website on mind/body healing called “EMBODY: (W)holistic Mental Health”!  That makes this day not feel like a complete loss, even if I’ve lost my voice. 

 

Feel free to check the website out and leave any feedback!                                                        http://embodymentalhealth.com

 

 

brambleroots' yoga 3 mosaic

“Yoga Mosaic 3” from brambleroots on flickr

 

Now, on to more interesting matters than the state of my sinus cavities, although this particular musing was inspired a little by the cavities (or rather the excrutiating sensation of pressure I feel inside of them right now). 

 

I am contemplating my yoga state of mind (queue the music from Billy Joel in the background to “New York State of Mind”) and as of right now I am leaning towards some nice soothng therapeutic and restorative yoga.  Today is not a Vinyasa day.

 

The other day I read a post called “Some Sour Yoga Apples” on the lovely Graceful Yoga and Simplicity Blog and Grace was speaking about an unfortunate encounter with a bit of a yoga snob–one of her teachers.  The kind of teacher who is certain their version of yoga practice is high art and all others, especially vinyasa, are just a sloppy and negligent mutilations of the eastern practice by western commercialism. 

 

 So much for Namaste which loosely translated means: “The light in me honors the light in you”.  What if my light is screaming for some Flow?   Ha.

 

My feeling is that there are yoga forms out there for everyone and if one suits you better than another then go with your flow and follow what feels right.  To me, that is the yoga of it all. 

 

I am a bit of a yoga-whore, if I may be so bold.  In terms of style, I get around.  Perhaps as I craft my practice through yoga schoolin’ I will become more versed in one form or another and prefer one practice over all else, but for now, I get around. 

 

Today all I want is  a restorative reprieve.  Often I need to purge myself after a long day of chair sitting and emotionally exhaustive trauma therapy with a really explosive Vinyasa Flow class, and many of those times I even prefer the Hot variety. 

 

Anasura and Iyengar frankly are like math, I know I need to know it to do the basics in life (yoga life that is), but it makes my brain hurt and leaves me feeling very inadequate.  At the same time, when I feel like everything is off in my body, Iyengar grounds me back again and gives me some clues of where I have gone wrong: there is stability in alignment focus. 

 

Kundalini is a practice I am just learning about and am very intrigued with as it seems to have some of the more contemplative spiritual focuses that seem very grounding in a soul-kind-of-way. 

 

I really believe that yoga is meant to suit everyone in one variation or another.  The rise of Vinyasa may speak to a need for more and more people in a frantic life circumstance, unable to center and get quiet in themselves, to have a  yoga that can purge and purge explosively all of the energy seeping out of their pores: and with hot yoga plenty more than just energy will seep out of your pores. 

 

Disability-oriented yoga I think exemplifies yoga for everyone and the antithesis of yoga elitism.  I think everyone should work with a population with physical disabilities at some point just as a practitioner and a teacher to understand what the root of yoga is all about.  The origin in yoga’s history is as a moving meditation as much for the soul as the body.   

 

If you can sit in a chair and only move your arm or your head you can still do yoga.  If you can never manually move your legs into Warrior One or Triangle Pose you can still be as yogic as anyone else.  Our limbs are only the beginning of what yoga is and therefore the method you use is only the segway to the deeper root of yoga: the meditative center. 

 

Or that is my impression thus far.  I hope to come back to this issue as I begin school and start regular practice within  a particular path and tradition. 

 

What is your yoga of choice and why?  I think this is a very interesting question with very interesting potential for answers. 

lotus flower from bahman farzad

Image from flicrk by Bahman Farzad.

 

Namaste.  I think I’ll go stretch and take some sinus medication.

Today we had a visit from the clinical head of my region’s programming at work and I had the most interesting “year in review” type of interview.  The experience inspired me to consider my own long term dreams and daydreams a little more closely.  He asked very creative programming questions like what theorist or therapeutic framework did I work with more than others and who did I really admire within the field of study. 

My favorite question he asked was if I were “Queen” of my agency what would I do?  My reply was, “Impliment alternative and holistic practices in centers nationwide as well as studies of each program to collect massive national data so no one can continue to say there is no empirical proof this ‘stuff’ works…and of course funding, funding, funding.” 

 

Dreams:

 

Now while this encompasses my dream where I am today were I to dream big I would have to say my ultimate goal would be able to create nationwide nonprofit centers for holistic treatment.  Each center would provide an array of holistic treatment for clients needing mental health, attending to mind, body, and soul.  Each center would house the following (for starters): psychotherapy, yoga, creative arts programs, reflexology, massage, and a small animal farm out back equipped for animal-assisted therapy to include at least dog and equine therapy. 

 

Inspirations:

 

In the arena of Therapist Authors…

…To be as prolific, poetic, and therapeutically qualified as  Irvin Yalom or Mary Pipher.

 

In the arena of Trauma Therapist Yogis…

 …To to be as eloquent, empirical-minded, and yogically inclined as Bessel van der Kolk.

 

In the arena of Body-Oriented Therapists…

 …To be as adeptly empathetic and intuitive as Pat Ogden or Peter Levine.

 

In the Yogic arena…

 …To be as centered, soothing  and inspiring in and out of the “classroom” as Sean Corne and Shiva Rea.

 

 

I hope this dream list inspires you to think about what your ultimate hopes would entail and how far your imagination could take you.  Someone told me the other day, and re-reminded me, that what happens in our life is what we make happen for ourselves.  If we aren’t proactive advocates for our own lives than who will be?  And as a therapist and social worker I ask myself if I cannot dream big, hope to heights, and be constantly inspired for myself in my own life how could I ever hope to do it effectively and authentically for my clients?

Please feel free to comment with some of your dreams and inspirations!

June 2020
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